Unleash the Fury! AKA (Introduction)

That's right, I'm about to open a 24 oz. can of overly-opinionated, purely subjective, half-insane rambling hyperbole on all of you unwitting, hapless readers. BWAHAHAHA! What's that? Oh. We don't have any readers yet? Well fear not. I won't let that little unimportant fact stand in the way of my rants and ravings. Why, I could even stand toe to toe with a brick wall for a good 40 minutes doing nothing but screaming my usual stream of hilarious rightness at it until it's opinion is swayed. And yes, I HAVE done this before. HAHA! So, readers or no readers be damned, YOU will hear, better yet, read what I have to say. And why do I do this dear readers...er...reader...er...no one...because it's important! I'm important. I guarantee that at some point the information that you garner from my posts will save your life. Because that's what I do. I'm in the business of saving lives. I'm also in the business of shaving wives...but that's much less lucrative.

Let's get down to business. I am Pancanbra. I have always been Pancanbra and will always be Pancanbra. When you sleep, Pancanbra stands steadfast, humbly towing the line between justice and insanity. He doesn't need your thanks, appreciation, or monetary sacrifices. But you WILL give these things to him anyway. The name is pronounced pan (as in frying pan) CAN (as in can of coke) and bra (as in bruh or the beginning of brush). Get it right. One mistake could cost you your life. And I WILL be testing you. I am always testing you.

What shall I be writing about? That's a good question. Thank you for asking. You're welcome. The answer is not a simple one...also, if you knew what I was writing about WHY would you bother reading it? Is your mind blown yet? It better be. I suppose that throughout the rest of our relationship (that being the relationship I now have with you the reader...and no, you can't dump me) I will be ranting and raving on whatever strikes my fancy. I am also an avid fan of games of sport, so you can expect these posts as well. Although I will not write about politics or religion. These things are beneath me. Literally. I sit upon a stack of books about politics and religion. And they're boring. Which is why I won't write about these topics. Ultimately, my writings will be the greatest thing pen has ever put to paper...or in this case keyboard to blog site. And I don't want to ruin the ending but there's a chance one of you may die...there's an equal chance that one of you may not...ever.