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No One's First and Then You're Next Review

You may have heard of this little band who's name comes from the end of one Virginia Woolf sentence and the beginning of the next . Modest Mouse. Scoring a steaming hot load of popularity that propelled them out of the whole “indie scene” and into the “pssh, I was way into that band before they got all popular” status with “Good News for People who Love Bad News.”
Man... I started listening to “No One's First, and Then You're Next” and.... I want to like it really badly.
Let's break it down.

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Modern Warfare 2 at a glance

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One word of advice, if you're new to the game, play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 drunk. The pain that you will feel as you are bulldozed over by the more experienced players at around 2 o'clock in the morning will be a much better experience if you just fucking don't care about what's happening to you at the moment. You'll be playing at around 4pm, when the kids are getting home from school and putting off homework for a few rounds, and kicking some royal ass, when you look at the clock and realize that, SHIT! Eight fucking hours have gone by! You've got work in the morning! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO? You're going to keep on playing because, in reality, you've never looked at the clock. You're still fucking playing at this moment aren't you? You're not going to read some fucking review because you've got the game and are kicking some major ass at it.
Goddamn it, I hate you.
When you play this game (because you will) expect to get roped into pointless conversations that begin with “I took off my shirt now, and my mic cord keeps on getting caught in my nipple hair.” This will be the tip of the iceberg that is a massive load of bullshit.
A friend of mine once said “I can't understand how people can say that they hate a game but keep on playing it.” A few days later we were playing online and he ceased actually using words, opting instead for pure unadulterated vitriol for the game, it's developers, the developer's mothers, wishing that every single person that was in any way affiliated with it fell in a well. A well of fire. While they have... something else horrible being done to them. The crazy thing is HE KEPT ON PLAYING. That is the epitome of Modern Warfare 2.
Do you like playing annoying games that you're not very good at and continuously die for seemingly no fucking reason? DO YOU? I WISH I COULD MAKE THE FONT BIGGER SO I COULD MAKE A BIGGER DO YOU? IF SO I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY RECOMMEND MODERN WARFARE 2. If not, then play something like, I don't know, Number Muncher.
Now, seriously, this game has a leveling system in multi-player. That is awesome. What is more awesome is playing it when you've been drinking off and on the whole day. What is more awesome is making boisterous claims when you've been drinking over x-box live and cursing all that oppose you. What is even more fun is realizing that you've been harassing kids that are at the most 14 years old with the most violent and explicit insults that can occur to you.
I shit you not, someone told someone else they were going to cover them with a “sperm blanket.” I'm pretty sure that x-box live chat would be the nadir of humanity if they weren't so fucking creative with it.
People that would enjoy this game: ones that have a ton of time to give; people who are infatuated with modern military technology; 14 year olds; people who have not progressed beyond the mental capacity of 14 years old; the Amish; people that have ever “gamed naked;” anyone that owns a microphone and is connected to x-box live.

Evolution, an amateur's tale

Hello
I decided to explain aspects of the theory (read reality) of evolution via natural selection in the simplest manner that I could think of.

Evolution as I understand it in terms of Natural Selection

1: Evolution is not an explanation of the origin of life, but rather an explanation of how organisms adapt to circumstances gradually over generations to provide natural advantages.

2: Adaptation should not be confused with development. Development is when an individual changes over time. Nor should it be confused with adaptation, an organism can adapt behaviorally and physically, but it cannot change it's species so that its offspring are born with these adaptations at the ready.

3: It is enormously difficult to determine when a new species has developed because offspring are genetically and physically indistinguishable from their parents. Using this logic, all organisms are in a “transitive” phase of evolution trending towards forming a new species with few exceptions.

4: The amount of time that it takes for something to noticeably evolve is relative to the amount of time it takes for that organism to produce offspring and for those offspring become sexually mature.

5: Organisms that evolve do so based on propagation, Fertility to increase the rate that the organism reproduce or attract a mate or survival ability in a particular environment and then mate.

6: Organisms are programmed to crank out as much offspring as possible, be it over a long life, or through a one-time burst.

7: Water-dwelling to Land-dwelling evolution is the hardest to explain. It is commonly assumed that the first amphibious animal was some sort of salamander, that absorbed oxygen through fanning gills that could absorb atmospheric oxygen. It is more likely that the first amphibious creature carried a supply of water with it to breathe, such as a crab rather than actually absorbing oxygen through the atmosphere.

8: When people talk about evolution they mainly limit themselves to mammal evolution, when it should be applied to all forms of life. Plants, insects, single-celled organisms, anything that feeds off a source of energy and produces offspring.

9: Random mutations in genetic code do not often manifest in any helpful way. The mutations that occur and cause the offspring to be radically different typically are fatal.

10: DNA is like an instructor that tells individual cells how to behave under specific circumstances. Rather than clapping its hands together and shouting “let's do this” and building the body, if it were a person it would say “alright, because the neighbours are doing this, we'll do this, Individual Cell.” The body and therefore human creation is more likely to be a result from bottom-up production than it is to be top-down production.

(That means that once the metaphorical ball starts rolling and the egg cell starts dividing and forming groups of cells, at some point something that we would identify as human is recognized, bottom-up, as opposed to some collection of cells beginning as a human, top-down)

11: Turtles are fucking weird. But awesome. But WEIRD.

If I have gotten something wrong, please feel free to correct. I mean that only in terms of the scientific, which is defined as conforming with the principles or methods used in science; "a scientific approach" according to Princeton
Also, I'm going to go ahead and define science as a body of knowledge of laws and theories that were gathered through an approach that subjects them to multiple tests with the aim of demonstrating that they are false but failing through logical and statistical means. These laws and theories concern the physical world; "I used science to demonstrate a physical law today" or "I am going to science you so hard."

on microwaves

Absurdists's,.:

Demon's Souls Review

Demon's Souls
When I was younger I could not play RPGs all the way through because I had to do things like school and after school activities that kept me involved in the community. Also, I wouldn't read the dialogue and my puzzle solving skills were sub-par. Since I've been 15, and pretty much since the N64 came out I've been playing through games more and more, with each successful completion adding to my ego and making me think “Hey, I'm a pretty good gamer. So I can't get everything in the game, but I can do a ton of quests and actually beat the game.” Underneath those thoughts has been the sneaking suspicion that I wasn't actually improving, but the games themselves were getting easier.
Enter Demon's Souls.
Demon's souls is a cold iron spike in lieu of the warm nipple that gamers up till now have been sucking sweet sweet milk of ridiculously powered up characters and forgiving puzzles. It takes things that we have taken for granted and throws them away; leaving us with our hands outstretched, mooneyed, and putting together exactly what just happened. Demon's Souls is how I imagine it feels to be raped.

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